Is this mood swing normal or not?

I bumped into a former student at the grocery store. She was in the produce section with a toddler who was squirming in the cart, arms stretched wide, grabbing at anything within reach and howling at full volume. He was overstimulated. He was dysregulated.

I gave her a big smile, high-fived her son, and headed toward the baking aisle.

As I debated between brownies and gingerbread, I remembered her in high school.

She used to sit on the floor instead of her chair. Arms outstretched. Reaching for anything that might distract her from schoolwork. She would hoot, holler, and struggle to stop. As her teacher, I initially wanted compliance. I wanted her in the chair, working quietly like everyone else.

That didn’t work.

What did work was helping her regulate her body.

If she lay on the floor for five to ten minutes, she could reset. Then she would climb back into her chair and continue learning. Sometimes I would sit with her. School can be loud, social, dramatic, and full of expectation. It can hijack a nervous system.

Her behavior did not worry me.

Why? Because:

• It responded to a strategy.

• It resolved quickly.

• She could reflect on it afterward.

After class, we would debrief. Never during class. Always after. She would apologize. She knew it might happen again. I reassured her that my goal was learning, and we would keep building her toolbox. Over time, we added other ways for her to ground herself.

This was dysregulation. A mood swing. A nervous system spike.

And it shifted.

Another student presented differently.

When she was on the floor making noise, he would put his head down and fall asleep. With all that chaos, I could not believe he could sleep.

After class, we talked about sleep habits. About staying up late gaming. About strategies that might help him stay awake. But over the course of a month, he fell asleep in every class. 

Nothing changed.

I would wake him. Try to reengage him. Sometimes he would yell. Sometimes he was angry. Sometimes deeply sad. He did not like being woken up, but he did not like falling asleep either.

He just couldn’t stay awake.

That made me nervous.

Not because he was disruptive. Class could continue while he slept.

But because:

• The behavior was persistent.

• It did not respond to strategy.

• It lasted.

Any new behavior that lasts longer than two weeks deserves a closer look.

So How Do You Know the Difference?

Teenagers may not always tell us what they’re thinking, but their behavior speaks clearly.

Normal teen behavior:

• Intense but short-lived

• Responsive to a strategy

• Followed by reflection or repair

Worrisome behavior:

• New and sustained

• Not responsive to reasonable strategies

• Interfering with sleep, school, friendships, or activities they used to enjoy

You are not looking for perfection. Please, it is too much pressure for both your child and you! You are looking for patterns.

How to Track Patterns (Without Making It Weird)

You can gather information quietly and calmly for one to two weeks.

Pay attention to:

• Emotional shifts: Are they more irritable, withdrawn, anxious, flat, or explosive than usual?

• Physical changes: Sleeping far more or far less? Eating significantly more or less? Low energy?

• External indicators: Changes in grades, attendance, sports participation, friend groups, or motivation?

Practical ways to track:

• Use the Notes app on your phone to jot brief observations.

• Have a simple daily check-in: “How was your energy today?” “Anything feel harder than usual?”

• Reach out to a teacher, coach, or trusted adult for perspective.

  
  

You are not building a case. You are looking for clarity by being curious.

The Most Important Step

Whether it’s normal moodiness or something deeper, start here:

Tell your teen you care.

“I’ve noticed some shifts. I might be wrong, but I want to check in. How are you really doing?”

Lead with curiosity, not accusation.

You do not need to diagnose. You do not need to fix it right now. You need to communicate that you are steady, available, and paying attention.

Teens can be all over the place emotionally. That’s normal.

But when they stop bouncing, when strategies don’t work, when the shift lingers, that is your cue to lean in a little closer.

You are not overreacting by paying attention. You are parenting.

We all need support in parenting!!

Nell